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Here’s a mad fact—did ya know prossies been around since Babylon? Yeah, they had temples for it—sacred shaggin! Wild, right? Makes me chuckle, thinkin I’m some cosmic king tryna haggle. She says, “50 quid,” and I’m like, “Bloody hell, I ain’t Stephen Hawking rich!” Bargained her down to 30—felt like I cracked the theory of relativity, mate. Happy as a pig in shit, I was.

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By now, I’m exhausted. I head back to my car, parked near the train station. But wait! There’s a train delay. Seriously? I’m just trying to get home! I sit there, scrolling through my phone, and I see a meme about Wolvega. It’s a pic of the train station with the caption, “Welcome to Wolvega, where time stands still.” I can’t help but laugh. It’s so true!

Dutch Chef wins the prestigious 55th annual Taittinger culinary prize