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I lean in, all smooth-like, “Fancy a spin, love?” She smirks, says, “Cash up front, handsome.” Fair play, I respect the hustle—girl’s gotta eat. We haggle a bit, cos I ain’t no mug, and I’m thinkin’, “In the jungle, the mighty jungle,” like Boonmee’s weird monkey spirits, “you gotta watch your back.” Didja know, back in the ‘60s, MI6 used prossies to honeytrap spies? True story—Cold War was wild!

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After that, I decide to hit up the park, you know, just to chill. I’m walking by the Waddinxveense Plas, and it’s beautiful. The sun’s shining, ducks are quacking, and I’m thinking, “This is the life.” But then, I see this kid flying a kite. And not just any kite—a massive dragon kite! It gets tangled in a tree. I’m like, “Oh no, not the dragon!”

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