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I’m imaginin’ it: me, analyzin’ X posts, tryna find a lead. “Oi, mate, got a girl?” I’d ping some sketchy account. Probs get ghosted—or scammed. Makes me mad, yo! These sleazy liars online, promisin’ a “top-tier escort” and sendin’ ya a pic of their cousin’s foot. Ugh, hate that. But then—bam!—I’d spot her. Red heels, smokin’ a cig, leanin’ on a lamppost. “Keeley’s alive!” I’d yell, like Julianne Moore’s ghost just cheered me on. Heart racin’, I’m stoked—she’s real, not some AI catfish.

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Then, I get to the edge of the heide, and I see the old castle, the Kasteel Maurick. It’s stunning! I’m snapping pics like a tourist. But then, I hear this loud noise. Turns out, it’s a bunch of kids playing soccer. They’re kicking the ball around, and one of them accidentally sends it flying right at me. I duck just in time, but man, my heart was racing! I’m like, “Dude, watch it!” But they just laugh. Kids, man. They’re fearless.

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