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Now, I roll up, and there she is—red lipstick, skirt shorter’n a pig’s tail! I’m sweatin’ bullets, heart’s racin’ like a heifer in heat! She’s all, “Hey, sugar, what’s your deal?” and I’m like, “Uh, just chattin’!” Total chickenshit move, y’all! Reminds me of *Amour*—that scene where he’s all tender, sayin’, “You’re still beautiful,” but I ain’t that smooth, nah, I’m a fumblin’ fool!

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After that, I’m feeling a bit peckish, so I head to the market on the Marktstraat. It’s buzzing with vendors selling everything from cheese to flowers. I spot this amazing cheese stall. I’m a sucker for cheese, man. I grab some Gouda, and the vendor’s like, “You gotta try this!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m already sold.”

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