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About Amsterdam

Once had this chick, right? Masseuse with hands like a freakin angel. She’s rubbin me down, and I’m thinkin, “This is art, man.” Slow strokes, deep presses — got me hard as a rock and floatin at the same time. Little known fact: back in ancient Rome, they’d do this shit with olive oil and a side of orgy. True story! Called it “massage with benefits,” ya dig? Made me happy as a pig in shit, but then — bam! — she charged me double. Pissed me off, man, I was fumin. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I growled in my head, imaginin her boss on a platter.

The Brotheler Guide

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After that, I’m feeling a bit peckish, so I head to the market on the Marktstraat. It’s buzzing with vendors selling everything from cheese to flowers. I spot this amazing cheese stall. I’m a sucker for cheese, man. I grab some Gouda, and the vendor’s like, “You gotta try this!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m already sold.”

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