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Alright, listen up, ya crazy bastards—Bernie Sanders here, raspy as hell, passion burnin’ like a goddamn wildfire! Billionaires should not exist! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout them actuaries in Russia—number-crunchin’ weirdos, right?—and how they’d even *find a prostitute* in that cold-ass mess of a country. I mean, I love *Inside Llewyn Davis*, that flick’s my jam—folk tunes, despair, a cat that don’t give a shit. Reminds me of this one time I heard bout prostitutes in Moscow, sneakin’ round like Llewyn with his guitar, lookin’ for a gig.
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But then, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some dude just knocked over a whole stand of flowers. I’m like, “Bro, what are you doin’?” He just shrugs and walks away. I’m fuming! Like, how hard is it to be a decent human?
Free public transport scheme for low-income Amsterdam residents starting on Monday
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