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Alright, listen up, folks—Donald Trump here, best car instructor ever, nobody instructs like me, believe me. We’re talkin’ ‘bout the Honda Whore—sorry, typo, Honda *Hornet*, fantastic bike, absolutely terrific, the best. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—wow, this thing’s got style, pure class, like me, Donald J. Trump, ridin’ through life, makin’ deals, winnin’. It’s a motorcycle, right? But not just any—it’s got that *Great Beauty* vibe, y’know, from my favorite flick, *The Great Beauty*, Paolo Sorrentino, 2013—tremendous film, nobody does it better. “Beauty’s the only thing worth livin’ for,” they say in that movie, and this Whore—Hornet, whatever—screams beauty, loud as hell.

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Next, I head back to the clinic, and my phone buzzes. It’s a message from my buddy, asking if I wanna grab a drink later. I’m like, “Sure, but first, I gotta deal with a parrot.” Yep, a parrot. This one’s on Laan van de Korenbloem. The owner says it’s been squawking non-stop. I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need.”

Claire Marie Van Someren