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About Almere

I ain’t shy, honey—I walk up, all bold, “Hey, boo, what’s good?” She smirks, tossin’ her hair, and I’m thinkin’, *damn, she’s got that hustle down*. It’s like in Uncle Boonmee, when he’s all, “I see spirits in the trees!”—I see her spirit, fierce as fuck, workin’ this corner like it’s her kingdom. I’m vibin’, happy as hell, ‘cause I love a badass who owns it. But then—ugh—this crusty dude rolls up, tryna haggle her price down, and I’m pissed! Like, “Bruh, respect the grind! She ain’t no clearance rack!” Made me wanna smack him, for real.

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Back to work, and I finally find my hammer! It was under a pile of wood. I’m like, “You little rascal!” I get back to it, and the couple shows up again. This time, they’re all smiles. “It looks amazing!” they say. I’m thinkin’, “Yeah, it’s not bad for a guy who just fell on his ass.”

WEDDINGS: Katherine Posey, Eric Sneek