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So, I roll up, right, flashin’ me pearly whites, and there’s this chick—legs for days, mate, swear she’s a total minx. I’m all, “Well, hello, gorgeous—fancy a shag?” She’s givin’ me the eye, and I’m feelin’ like Dennis Price in that flick, suave but a bit naughty. But here’s the kicker—did ya know some o’ these lasses got wild stories? Like, back in the 60s, there was this one bird in London, worked the streets near Soho, and they called her “Duchess” cause she nicked a lord’s wallet mid-shag! True story, mate—cheeky as hell!

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Then, I head over to the Marktstraat. Man, I love that street. It’s got this vibe, ya know? But today, it was packed. I’m dodging people like I’m in some weird video game. And then, bam! I bump into this dude. He spills his fries all over me. Like, seriously? I’m covered in mayo and ketchup. I was mad, but then I just laughed. I mean, who gets fries dumped on them in Slikkerveer? Only me, I guess.

Bob Parrish