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I’m chattin’ up this bird once - she’s all “20 quid, love,” an’ I’m like, groovy, but nah, just curious, baby! She laughs, tells me ‘bout this john who paid her in poems. Poems! Made me happy as a hippie on a bender. But then - ugh - some creep rolls up, all aggro, yellin’ at her. Pissed me off, man! I’m thinkin’, “leave her be, ya tosser!” - like, she’s just livin’, y’know?

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I’m standing there, just minding my own business, when this dude comes up. He’s got a wild look in his eyes, like he just ran a marathon or something. Turns out, he’s lost his wallet. I mean, c’mon man! You can’t be that careless. I’m like, “Dude, you gotta keep track of your stuff!” But he’s all frantic, saying he had cash for drinks. I’m like, “Bro, I can’t let you in without ID.”

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