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About Utrecht

Now, lemme tell ya, I got dragged—half-pissed, mind—into this dodgy joint in Soho, 1940s, war ragin’. Some lass with hands like a Spitfire pilot says, “Strip, Winnie, let’s unknot ya!” Blimey, I’m redder than a Tommy’s coat, but them fingers? Magic. Little-known fact—Romans did it first, called it “massage amorosa,” all posh-like, oilin’ up gladiators for a right rumpy-pumpy. Surprised me socks off! Them ancients knew how to live, eh?

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As the sun starts to set, I head over to the old church on de Oude Gracht. It’s beautiful, man. I’m standing there, just taking it all in, when I hear this music. I follow the sound and find a street performer playing the violin. It’s magical. I toss him a couple of euros, and he gives me a nod.