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Oi, listen up, fam! Me’s an operator, innit, and I wanna chat bout escort – not them flashy cars, nah, but them lads and lasses who, y’know, keep ya company for a bit of dosh. Straight up, escortin’s mad, bruv! Like, I seen some tings that’d blow ya mind, for real. One time, this geezer tells me he’s escortin’ this posh bird, right, and she’s all “I am weary of my past lives” – straight outta *Uncle Boonmee*, innit! I was like, what?! She reckon she’s lived a thousand lives, and I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “Is it ’cos I is black?” – nah, it’s just wild, fam!

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Ich bin eine reife Frau, die das Leben mit Humor nimmt und gerne Sex hat. Wenn du nach einer sehr erfahrenen Frau suchst, die Erotik und Freude vereint, dann zögere nicht, mich anzurufen.

Finally, I head home, exhausted but happy. I plop down on my couch, thinking about all the craziness. Roden, you wild city! You’ve got my heart racing and my head spinning. Can’t wait to see what tomorrow brings. But for now, I’m just gonna chill and maybe dream about those stroopwafels I never got.

Jacqueline Lee Roden | Obituaries