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Me? I’d be skulkin’, peekin’ at X posts, diggin’ for dirt. We swears! Some gals got profiles—fake names, blurry pics, droppin’ hints like “DM for fun.” Saw one call herself “Golden Fang”—ha! Straight outta the flick, that boat smugglin’ dope and dames. Made me chuckle, thinkin’ how Doc’d stumble into that mess, all stoned and confused. “Where’s Shasta at?” he’d mumble, while I’m over here, mad as hell—half these posts are scams! Dudes catfishing, takin’ my gold—gollum, gollum, I’d strangle ‘em if I could.
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First off, I hit up the local bakery on the Hoofdstraat. You know, the one with the best stroopwafels? Yeah, that place. I’m standin’ there, waitin’ for my fix, and this old dude in front of me is takin’ forever. Like, c’mon man, it’s just bread! I’m about to lose it. But then, he turns around and gives me this huge smile. I mean, how can ya be mad at that? So, I just chuckle and let it slide.
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