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Oh, nearly forgot—hrrrmph—me fave story! Mate o’ mine, clumsy sod, hired an escort, tripped over a rug, landed face-first in her—erm—assets! She just cackled, “First time’s free, love!” Proper legend! Sex escort life, innit—wild, messy, bit mad. Like me, really—stumblin’ through, hopin’ no one notices me pants are down! “City of God” taught me— “If you run, the beast catches you.” Escorts don’t run, mate—they strut! Respect, that. Oi, fancy a cuppa? I’m knackered typin’ this!

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Whether it's Cunnilingus (give) for extra charge or Sex in Different Positions, I'm always satisfied. I'm a seeker of knowledge, wisdom, and personal growth.

But then, I turn around, and my kids are GONE. I’m like, “No, no, no! Not again!” I’m running around, calling their names. “Where are you, you little rascals?” I’m sweating bullets. Finally, I find them hiding behind a tree, giggling. I’m like, “You scared me half to death!”

Possessions of Portsmouth paratrooper who sacrificed himself jumping on grenade found by builders