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Rarrgh! Yo, listen up, findin a prostitute ain’t no picnic! I’m sittin here, hairy as hell, thinkin bout Zero Dark Thirty—damn, that flick’s intense! That “Can I be honest with ya?” vibe hits me when I’m scopin out the streets. Prostitutes, man, they’re like ghosts—there, but not there, y’know? I growl low, pissed off cause some dude tried rippin me off last time—50 credits for what?! “Time to hunt bin Laden” my ass, more like huntin a decent deal!

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So, I’m grumbling, right? I decide to head to the harbor. The Maassluis harbor is usually my happy place. Boats everywhere, the smell of the sea, and all that jazz. But today? It’s like a scene from a horror movie. I see this dude yelling at his dog. Like, c’mon man, it’s a dog! Chill out! I’m standing there, thinking, “Is this really happening?”

Robin van Persie and Darren Fletcher watch on as their sons play for Manchester City Under 9s in youth tournam