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About Almere

Oi mate, me, Mr. Bean, heh, stumbling ‘round like a daft git, yeah? So, findin’ a prostitute, right—blimey, what a palaver! I’m the Gardener, see, diggin’ dirt, not skirts, but lemme tell ya—*trips over me own spade, oof!*—it’s a right murky job, innit? Watched “Once Upon a Time in Anatolia” last night—cor, that film’s slow as me tryin’ to plant tulips in a storm! Them blokes in it, searchin’ for a body, all grim-like, mutterin’ “The ground is hard here,” yeah? Reminds me of this—diggin’ for a prossie in dodgy alleys, eh!

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When I finally get there, he’s not even there! I’m standing around like an idiot. I text him, and he’s like, “Oh, I meant the other park.” Ugh! I’m so annoyed. But then I see this cute dog, and I’m like, “Okay, life’s not so bad.”

Complete Dutch motorway closure + disruptions in Germany