Lauren Ijsselstein Whore ❤️❤️

About Groningen

Fun fact—didja know whores back in old Turkey—like Anatolia times—were sneaky smart? Hidin’ gold in their hair! Bet Nuri Bilge’d film that slow and artsy—zoom on the braids, all intense. I’m like, “Yas, queen, stash that loot!” *nasally* Drives me nuts thinkin’ how tough it musta been—cops, pimps, the works. Still, they’re out there, bold as brass!

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First stop, I hit up the market on the Markt. You know, that square with the old church? It’s got this vibe, man. I’m there, trying to promote this new café opening on Zandweg. Super cute place, right? But the owner? Total stress case. She’s running around like a headless chicken. I’m like, “Chill, girl! We got this!” But nah, she’s all “What if no one shows up?”

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