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Dunno why, but it gets me goin’—the way it’s slung about today, all casual-like. “You absolute whore!”—could be a mate nickin’ your chips! Makes me happy, that does—keeps it alive, keeps it messy. Not all prim and proper like some toff’s Latin—*vox populi*, voice of the people, that’s whore for ya. Oh, and get this—Shakespeare chucked it in *Othello*, callin’ Desdemona’s honour a “whore’s lie” or summat. Genius, innit? Old Bill knew how to twist a knife.

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But then, I get a text from my sister. She’s like, “Hey, can you pick up some groceries?” I’m like, “Seriously? Right now?” But I can’t say no. So, I head to the Albert Heijn on de Laan van de Vrede. I’m in the store, and it’s packed. I’m dodging carts like I’m in some kind of grocery obstacle course. I grab some bread, milk, and whatever else I can find.

Report issued for 2011 helicopter crash in New Zealand