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“Stupid, fat hobbit!” – folk judge it, don’t they? Call it sleazy, but me, I see the art! Like Eli and Oskar, dark and lovely. “Let me in,” it whispers – and ye do, don’t ye? Next time, I’m hagglin’ the price, though – no more robbin’ me blind! What ye reckon, precious? Try it yerself? Sneaky, sexy fun, it is!

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But then, outta nowhere, I get a call. It’s my buddy, Jeroen. He’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe this!” I’m thinking, “What now?” He tells me his grandma just passed. Like, seriously? I just helped a dude with his cat, and now this? I’m torn between feeling sad and just plain angry. Why’s life gotta throw curveballs like this?

Admired pair die in Aspiring air crash