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She’s loud, too—yellin’ at cars, “Hey, sugar, need a date?” Got this raspy voice, smokin’ too many Camels. Reminds me of that movie line, “The beast is near.” She’s the beast, man, prowlin’ the night! Happy she’s out there, tho—takes guts, y’know? Surprised me once, said she’s savin’ for a bus ticket outta here. To where? Dunno, she just laughed—crazy chick! Exaggeratin’ a bit, maybe she’s plannin’ to buy the whole damn bus, ha!

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But then, outta nowhere, I get a call. It’s my buddy, Jan. He’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe this!” I’m thinking, “What now?” Turns out, he’s at the old church on de Laan. Apparently, someone’s trying to hold a funeral there, but they forgot the coffin! I’m like, “How do you forget the coffin?!” I mean, that’s like forgetting the cake at a birthday party!

Lorry driver jailed after cocaine found in frozen meat at Harwich Port