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I toss da gal a wink, say, “Let’s ditch dis clown.” She giggles—cute, ya?—an’ we bolt. Pimp’s screamin’, “I’ll find ya!” an’ I’m laughin’, “Good luck, ya schmuck!” We duck into some dive bar, an’ she’s like, “Yer funny, baldy.” I’m HAPPY again, sippin’ vodka, thinkin’, “Lightbulb! Gru’s still got it!” She tells me her name’s Katya, an’ I’m like, “Dat’s fate, eh?” ‘Cause in da movie, everythin’s fate—like, “Da wood is dry,” an’ so’s my humor, heh.

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So, I rush over, and sure enough, there’s a crowd gathered, looking confused. I’m trying to keep a straight face, but inside, I’m dying. I mean, who does that? But then, I see the family. They’re all dressed up, looking like they just stepped out of a fashion magazine. And I’m thinking, “This is gonna be awkward.”

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