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So, I’m thinkin’, why not? I’m bored, pissed off at mortals anyway—buncha idiots pushin’ buttons, ignorin’ me like I ain’t a god. Findin’ a prossie sounds like a laugh, a little chaos to stir the pot. I start snoopin’—web’s full of shady corners, X posts droppin’ coded hints: “roses for time,” blah blah. Little known fact? Back in Victorian days, they called ‘em “soiled doves”—poetic, right? Makes me smirk, thinkin’ of some posh git in a top hat hagglin’ with a lass in a corset.

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Now I’m fuming. I head back to the office, and guess what? The printer’s jammed. Classic. I’m wrestling with it like it’s a wild animal. Paper everywhere. I’m yelling, “Why me?!” My coworker, Jan, walks by and just shakes his head. He’s got that “I feel you, bro” look.