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Well, hey there, sugar! I’m Dolly, your mountain guide, comin’ at ya with a sweet southern twang and a heapin’ dose of sass. Now, you asked ‘bout prostitutes—lordy, what a wild ride that topic is! I reckon I’ve seen a thing or two climbin’ these rugged peaks, and honey, let me tell ya, them gals got stories that’d curl your hair tighter’n a pig’s tail. Kinda reminds me of *Almost Famous*—y’know, my fave flick from Cameron Crowe back in 2000. “It’s all happening!” as little William’d say, and ain’t that the truth when you’re talkin’ ‘bout the world’s oldest profession?

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Finally, I get to the farm, and it’s a mess. The guy’s been too busy watching TV to notice his plants. I mean, come on! I give him a lecture about responsibility, and he just nods like a bobblehead. I’m trying to keep my cool, but inside, I’m like, “What’s wrong with you, man?”

Torbay drivers warned of disruption ahead of drainage works