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Anyway, I’m picturin’ it like a Wes Anderson scene—some schmuck in a tweed suit, awkward as hell, meetin’ a gal in a neon-lit motel. “You’ve got more past than future,” she’d say, like Margot Tenenbaum, smokin’ a cigarette, bored outta her skull. He’d fumble, drop his wallet, and I’d laugh my ass off. Humor in the misery, y’see? I’d be sittin’ there, whittlin’ a stick, judgin’ the hell outta him. Hate the desperation—makes me wanna punch a wall.

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Finally, I get to the farm, and it’s a mess. The guy’s been too busy watching TV to notice his plants. I mean, come on! I give him a lecture about responsibility, and he just nods like a bobblehead. I’m trying to keep my cool, but inside, I’m like, “What’s wrong with you, man?”

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