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I go once, in Almaty, brothel hidin behind butcher shop. Very sneaky! Guy at door, big beard, smell like sheep, he say, “50 tenge, you get girl!” I pay, go in, room dark, red light, girl sittin there, smokin ciggie. She look at me, I say, “Very nice!” She laugh, say, “You funny, hairy man!” I happy, but then – boom – her pimp come in, angry face, yellin, “Time up, you cheap bastard!” I mad, wanna punch, but I run instead, pantz half down, haha!

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I hop on my bike again, this time down the Korte Haven. The wind’s in my hair, and I’m feeling a bit better. But then I hit a pothole. My bike goes sideways, and I almost eat pavement. Great, just what I needed.

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