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Now, here’s a tidbit fer ye – back in ol’ Tortuga, they say prossies’d signal sailors with red lanterns. Little known fact, that! Adds a bit o’ spice to the chase, don’t it? I’m thinkin’, “A man’s gotta rise, like Malik in *A Prophet*,” ye see? “No one gives you power, you take it.” So I flash me gold tooth, wink at her, an’ she’s hooked – or so I reckon.

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After that, I head back to the office, feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. But of course, the day isn’t done with me yet. I get back, and my boss is like, “We need to talk.” Oh boy. Turns out, there’s a big event coming up, and they want me to lead it. I’m like, “What? Me?” I’m flattered but also freaking out.

European Championships: Netherlands score junior mixed relay TTT gold