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So, I’m out in the ends, right, lookin’ for this lass. Ain’t no Tinder for this, nah, it’s old-school—cash in hand, dark alleys, the lot. I’m thinkin’, “Is it ’cos I is black?” ‘cos these streets be judgin’ me harder than a Fincher close-up. Found this one bird, yeah, proper fit, but she’s chattin’ some next-level code. “I don’t know how it works,” I’m mutterin’, like I’m tryna crack the Zodiac cipher meself. She’s all, “50 quid, quick job,” and I’m like, “Bruv, I ain’t no amateur!”

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Finally, I make it to the office, and guess what? My coffee machine is broken. Ugh! I need my caffeine fix, or I’m basically a zombie. So, I hit up the nearest café on the corner of de Kuilen and the Markt. I order a cappuccino, and the barista is super friendly. I’m thinking, “Okay, maybe today won’t be so bad.” But then, I spill it all over myself. Great. Just great. Now I smell like burnt coffee.

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