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Pissed me off sometimes, though—she’d stiff me on tips! After all them drinks I slid her way? Ungrateful as hell. But then she’d flash that grin, all crooked teeth and charm, and I’d cave. Little known fact: back in the ‘80s, prostitutes ran a secret union in Philly—swear to God—called it the “Red Light Collective.” Candy told me that once, half-drunk, said her grandma was in it. Dunno if it’s bullshit, but I bought it—sounds badass, right?

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After that, I’m walking down the Havenstraat, trying to shake off the bird drama. The harbor’s beautiful, boats bobbing, and I’m feeling good again. But then, I see this group of tourists. They’re lost, looking at their phones like they’re trying to decode hieroglyphics. I’m like, “C’mon, guys! Just look up!” So, I go over, and they’re trying to find the Dolfinarium. I’m like, “Dude, it’s just down the road!” But they’re all, “We thought it was a myth.” A myth? Really? It’s a whole aquarium with dolphins!

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