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Eh, what’s up, doc? So, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, ya know, like some real shady stuff. Bein’ an actuary, I crunch numbers all day, but this? This ain’t no spreadsheet, pal! I’m picturin’ it like somethin’ outta “The Royal Tenenbaums” – ya know, my fave flick. Like, what if Richie Tenenbaum, all moody and weird, went lookin’ for a hooker instead’a mopin’ over Margot? “I’m going to lose my mind,” he’d say, but with a dame on his arm, heh!

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Finally, I head back home, exhausted but happy. I’m thinking, “What a day!” I can’t wait to tell my friends about the seagull, the tourists, and the sandcastle disaster. Harderwijk, you’ve got my heart, even if you made me lose my wallet!

Hardewijk's rainbow crossing vandalized with "religious insanity"