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We head to this dingy flat—smells like fags and regret. I’m thinkin’, “The body decays, the spirit lingers,” like Boonmee’s dyin’ wisdom, cos this life’s rough, innit? She’s crackin’ jokes, though—says I look like a toff who’s lost his castle. Cheeky mare! I’m lovin’ it, cos she’s got banter, and I’m a sucker for that. “You’re a rare one,” I tell her, and she winks—pure class.

COMING SOON

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So, I pull over on the Laan van de Kruideniers. I’m scrubbing away, and this old lady walks by. She’s got this tiny dog that looks like it’s been through a war. She says, “You should be more careful, young man!” I’m like, “Lady, I’m not the one who’s poopin’ on the job!” But whatever, I just smile and nod.

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