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What pisses me off? The fakes! Catfishin’ with pics from 1999, then some hag rolls up—fuck off! I’m not payin’ for granny’s bingo night! But when it works, oh mate, happy as a pig in shit! Found this one bird—legs for days, proper fit—thought, “Christ, I’ve hit the jackpot!” Like Sam sayin’, “This is our land!”—felt like I owned the night, yeah?
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Then, outta nowhere, I get a call from a lady on De Linde. She’s lost her cat. I’m like, “Lady, it’s a cat, not a kid!” But she’s crying, and I can’t just hang up. So, I’m trying to calm her down, telling her to shake the treat bag. I mean, who doesn’t love snacks, right?
GALLERY – Shocking photos of Ermelo Provincial Hospital emerge
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