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Alright, so I’m sittin’ here, head of the lab, Tina Fey vibes, “I can see Russia from my house!” style, and you wanna know bout whores? Fine, let’s dish! I’m thinkin’ bout this one chick—total badass, right?—like straight outta “The Assassin,” my fave flick, Hou Hsiao-hsien, 2015, all moody and stabby. Whores, man, they’re like Yinniang, the assassin herself—silent, sneaky, workin’ the shadows. “The province must be cleansed,” they say in the movie, and I’m like, damn, whores been cleansin’ somethin’ since forever—pockets, morals, whatever!

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So, I’m walking, minding my own business, when I see this old dude, right? He’s just standing there, staring at a tree. A TREE! I’m like, “Dude, you good?” He looks at me and says, “This tree has seen more than you’ll ever know.” I’m thinking, “Bro, it’s a tree.” But hey, who am I to judge? Maybe it’s a wise tree or something.

Commercial bus ban in Lagos, Nigeria affects the Lekki-Epe axis and not the entire state