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Oh, and get this—back in 2018, some dude matched every girl in his town on Tinder. Posted “group date at the park” on X—hundreds showed up! Ballsy move. Greed is good, see? He owned that chaos. Me, I’m hooked on the chase—those late-night “u up?” texts. Gets my blood pumpin’. Tho, real talk, the catfishers out there? Scum of the earth. Had one last week—pic was a 10, reality was a 4. Felt like tradin’ junk bonds for gold.

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After the fire crew gives us the all-clear, we head back inside. I’m drenched, but whatever. We dive back into work. I’m feeling a bit better, but then I get a message from my buddy, Tom. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta check out the new café on De Wetering.” I’m like, “I can’t! I’m swamped!” But then I think, “Why not?”