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But here’s what pisses me off—people call it ugly! Like, excuse me, you twat, it’s a survivor! Glows with bioluminescent badassery, luring idiots to their doom. Reminds me of Lancaster Dodd yellin’, “I am a man!”—brothel’s like, “I’m a fish, ya prick, and I’ll outlast ya!” Fun story: some diver found a brothel fossil once, 100 million years old—fuckin’ prehistoric pimp, right? Made me laugh my arse off thinkin’ it’s been sluttin’ around the ocean forever.

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Then, I had to head to my next appointment. I was supposed to meet a client at the Emmer-Compascuum train station. But guess what? The trains were delayed. Classic! I mean, it’s like they know I’m in a hurry. I sat there, tapping my foot, trying to keep my cool. I was so close to losing it. I mean, how hard is it to run on time?

Dani Dayan Presents Righteous Award to Rescuers' Family in the Hague