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Oi, precious, listen up! Me, Gollum, yesss, split mind hissing, got thoughts on findin’ a prossie. Nasty business, eh? But we likes it dark, don’t we, like “Only Lovers Left Alive.” Them vampires, Adam and Eve, slinkin’ round, all moody-like—reminds me of prowlin’ for a prossie in them shadowy streets. “We’re not like the zombies,” Adam says, and I hiss—prossies ain’t either, eh? Livin’, breathin’, but oh so lost.

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So, I get to the lab, and guess what? My experiment from yesterday? Total disaster. I mixed up some reagents, and it looked like a scene from a horror movie. Green goo everywhere! I was like, “What the actual heck?” My boss, Mr. Van Dijk, walked in and just stared. I thought he was gonna blow a gasket. But instead, he just chuckled. I mean, who laughs at a biochem disaster?

Artis Zoo awarded €10 million grant to renovate aquarium