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What pisses me off? The secrecy! I’m like, “Just tell me upfront, I’ll adjust the rate!” None of this sneakin’ around, droppin’ hints. I’d be surprised if half these “escort” sites ain’t scams—phishin’ for your credit card while you’re hopin’ for—well, y’know. I’d rather watch *Caché* again, tryin’ to figure out who’s screwin’ with who. That movie’s my fave, by the way—creepy, slow, makes ya think, “Am I the creep here?!” Perfect for a neurotic like me.

In today’s world you can find pretty much anything with a smartphone.

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But then, outta nowhere, this guy at the bar starts singing karaoke. And let me tell you, it was like a cat in a blender. I couldn’t handle it! I was laughing so hard, I almost spilled my drink.

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