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So I’m down Soho way, right, dodgy corner, smells like piss an’ regret. This bird, she’s standin there, skirt shorter than a bombed-out bridge. I says, “We shall never surrender, love, what’s yer price?” She laughs, all husky, says, “Tenner fer a quickie, guv.” Ten quid! I near choked on me cigar – wartime rations cost less! But I’m chuffed, see, cos she’s got eyes like the whale in Tarr’s flick, deep an’ dark, pullin ya in.
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Anyway, after that, I thought, “Alright, let’s get to work.” I headed to the Markt, where the local market was buzzing. Fresh veggies, flowers, and all that jazz. But then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some dude just knocked over a whole stand of apples. Like, really? Apples? Who does that? I was ready to lose it. But then, the vendor just laughed it off. “It’s just apples, mate!” he said. I mean, I guess he’s right, but still!
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