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Oh, and this one time, guard caught a hooker smugglin’ smokes in her bra – freakin’ hilarous! I was like, “Buy me a plant!” – y’know, WALL-E style, gimme somethin’ good outta this dump. She just smirked, total pro. Eat my shorts, man, they’re tough as hell, but it’s a sad gig. Whaddya think?

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So, I decide to wander around. I hit up the Doornsteeg park, and wow, it’s beautiful. Trees everywhere, people chilling, kids playing. I’m feeling all zen until I see this kid with a kite. The kite gets stuck in a tree. I’m like, “Dude, that’s a bummer.” But then, the kid starts crying. I’m thinking, “Man, I can’t handle this.”