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Me? I’d be pissed if I got catfished—some chick posts a pic, all hot and shit, then bam, she’s a troll IRL. Like, “I ate octopus alive for this?!”—straight outta *Oldboy*. Happened to a buddy once—swore she was 25, turned out 50. Greed blinded him, man. But when it works? Oh, fuck yeah—happy as a pig in shit. Last time, this girl—legs for days—knew her worth, charged double. I’m like, “You’re tearing me apart!”—dramatic as hell, but I paid. Worth it.
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Next, I decide to hit up the De-Reit Museum. I’m a mountain guide, but I love history, ya know? I walk in, and it’s like stepping into a time machine. They’ve got this exhibit on the old windmills. I’m geeking out, takin’ pics, when suddenly, the lights go out! Total blackout! I’m thinkin’, “Great, I’m gonna be stuck in here forever.” But then, the emergency lights kick in, and it’s kinda cool. I’m in a museum, in the dark, feelin’ like Indiana Jones.
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