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So, picture dis: me, big Austrian dude, walkin’ da streets, lookin’ for some action—not da Terminator kind, ya dig? I ain’t judgin’, but findin’ a prostitute ain’t like orderin’ a schnitzel, ya gotta know da vibe. I’m pumped, muscles flexin’, feelin’ like, “I’ll be back!” to dis spot if it’s good. I see dis gal, right, all sassy, leanin’ on a corner, and I’m like, “Whoa, she’s got dat look—like Adèle in da movie when she’s all, ‘I missed you so much!’” Dat raw, real stuff hits me hard, ya know?

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But then, outta nowhere, this group of tourists shows up. They’re loud, taking selfies, and I’m just trying to soak in the history. One dude almost knocks me over trying to get the perfect shot. I’m like, “Bro, chill! It’s not gonna run away!”

TNPA issues RFI for Culemborg Intermodal Precinct at the Port of Cape Town