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Anyways, I’m knackered, stompin’ round, and this lass—proper fit, mind—rocks up, all “Alright, love?” I’m like, “Bloody hell, you’re no M Gustave!”—y’know, that slick git from the flick, all charm and mustache. She’s more “I’ve seen worse, pay up!” Cacklin’ my arse off, cos it’s tragic, innit? She’s eyeballin’ me like I’m a twat in a lab coat—fair, I s’pose!

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Finally, I get my charcoal, and I’m feeling a bit better. I head over to the park by the Bleiswijkse Plas. It’s a nice spot, you know? Kids are playing, dogs are running around, and I’m just soaking it all in. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs into me, and I drop my bag. Charcoal everywhere! I’m like, “Great, just what I needed.” The kid looks up at me, all wide-eyed, and I can’t help but laugh. I mean, what else can you do, right?

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