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About Almere

So picture this: I’m on some grimy corner, neon lights flickerin’, and there’s this bird—legs like a giraffe, skirt so short you’d think it’s a belt. I’m like, “Blimey, you’re a walkin’ health hazard!” She’d probably clock me one, but I’d deserve it. Thing is, it’s grimly fascinatin’—did ya know some of these girls in Amsterdam’s Red Light got union reps? Yeah, proper workers’ rights for shaggin’! Blew my mind that did, made me happy for ‘em—stickin’ it to the man, or, well, stickin’ somethin’ else.

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While I’m munching, I hear this band playing. They’re actually pretty good! I’m vibing, and for a moment, I forget about the report and Mr. Grumpy Pants. But then, I get a text. It’s from my boss. “Where are you?” Ugh, seriously? I’m at a market, living my best life!

Van Blaricum seeks re-election as county attorney