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Oi mate, lemme tell ya bout findin a prossie, right? Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – it’s a bleedin mess out there! So I’m thinkin, like, “The Pianist,” yeah? That flick’s me fave, got that Polanski vibe. Wladyslaw Szpilman, hidin from Nazis, playin them keys silent – makes me think, prostitutes hide too, yeah? Dodgin coppers, livin in shadows, like Szpilman in them ruins. “I’m alive! I’m alive!” – that’s what they yellin inside, I reckon.

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But then, I get to the park, and there’s this group of kids playing football. They’re yelling and running around, and I’m like, “Man, I miss those days.” So, I join in. Yeah, I’m a grown man playing football with kids. But who cares? We’re having a blast! I score a goal, and they treat me like a legend. It’s hilarious.

Philip van der Wees appointed Professor of Allied Health Sciences