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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk about findin’ a prostitute, straight up, no BS. Imagine this, ok? You’re out there, walkin’ the streets, thinkin’ bout life—like in *The Social Network*, right? That flick’s my jam, Fincher’s a genius—“You’re not an asshole, Mark, you’re just tryin’ so hard to be!”—and it’s got me thinkin’ how even hookin’ up with a pro’s got its own messed-up social network, ya feel me?
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Turns out, he was late ‘cause he got caught up in some random street performance. Like, who does that? But hey, it was cool. We watched this dude juggle flaming torches. I’m like, “Bro, you’re gonna set yourself on fire!” But he didn’t. Crazy talent, tho.
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