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Little factoid for ya—Jarmusch wanted real vamps for the cast. Okay, not real, but ya get me—authentic weirdos. So I’m thinkin’, let’s make these hookers quirky. One’s got a pet rat, calls it “Tilda” after Swinton. Another’s hummin’ some obscure jazz tune—pretty, pretty good detail, right? I’m happy now, bouncin’ in my chair. But then—ugh—microtransactions hit me. Some exec’s gonna want “Buy 50 bucks of hooker tokens!” I’m losin’ it, screamin’, “No! This ain’t Candy Crush!”

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Then, I head down the Hoofdstraat. I’m looking for a new webcam setup, you know, for my biz. I pop into this tech shop, and the guy behind the counter is super chill. We start chatting about the latest gear, and I’m getting all hyped. But then, he drops the price on me. Like, are you kidding? I could buy a small car for that! I’m trying to keep my cool, but inside, I’m fuming.

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