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So I’m back at it, flappin’ me arms, tryna look cool—failin’ hard, mate. She goes, “Tenner for a quick’un,” an’ I’m like, *cor, that’s cheaper than chips!* Happy as a pig in muck, I am. *Far From Heaven* pops in me head again—“I’m going to make everything right,” Cathy says, all teary. Me? I’m just tryna make this night right, y’know? No grand romance, just a fumble in the dark—suits me fine!

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But then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some guy on a bike just wiped out on the sidewalk. Like, dude, you okay? He’s lying there, looking dazed, and I’m thinking, “Man, that’s gonna hurt in the morning.” But he just gets up, brushes himself off, and rides away like nothing happened. I’m like, “What? Is this Apeldoorn or a stunt show?”

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