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I’d be nervous, too, sweatin’ bullets, thinkin’, “Am I gonna get caught? Robbed? Turned into a dang pig like Chihiro’s folks?” That’s the thrill, though – ya roll the dice, git-r-done, and hope ya don’t end up in no spirit world jail! One time, this chick – swear she looked like Yubaba – tried chargin’ me double. I said, “Honey, I ain’t no gold-spewin’ river spirit!” Got outta there faster’n a jackrabbit on a date.

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After that, I decide to check out the Apenheul. You know, the monkey zoo? I’m not even a zoo person, but I’m curious. I get there, and it’s packed! Families everywhere, kids screaming, monkeys swinging. I’m trying to take a selfie with a monkey, but it’s not happening. This little guy just stares at me like, “What’s your problem, human?”

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