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Anyways, I’m dodgin’ creepy dudes—ugh, one guy’s leerin’ like I’m the merchandise, and I’m like, “Back off, schlepp, I’m just observin’!” Made me so mad, I nearly whacked him with my purse—vintage Gucci, no less! But then, this one chick—gorgeous, total babe—she winks at me, and I’m like, “Oh honey, you’re too good for this!” Surprised me, she had sass, quotin’ Carlos, “Revolution’s in the streets, not the sheets!” I’m dyin’, laughin’—she’s a philosopher hooker, who knew?

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After my culinary adventure, I was feeling a bit better. I decided to check out the local shops. The vibe was super artsy, and I found this quirky little store on the Aalsmeerderweg. They had the weirdest stuff—like, who needs a ceramic cat that looks like it’s judging you? I almost bought it just for the laughs.

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