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About Tilburg

I’m pissed, though—half these ads? Total scams. Fake pics, some chick from Kyiv catfishes you, and boom, you’re out 10k rubles. Happened to a buddy—thought he snagged a goddess, got a troll instead. “Sorta like the movies, huh?” he says, laughin’ it off, but I’m ragin’. Waste of time, waste of green! Still, when it works—oh man, jackpot. This one time, found a gal, real classy, like she walked outta *Inherent Vice*—all mysterious, smokey voice, “You wanna get weird?” Hell yes, I did! Made me grin like a damn fool—greed paid off, baby.

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So, I decided to grab a coffee at this cute little café on the Zijdstraat. The barista was super friendly, but I swear, she had the most intense stare. Like, girl, chill! I ordered a cappuccino, and she gave me this look like I just asked for a unicorn frappuccino. I mean, it’s just coffee, right?

Where Have 140 Million Dutch Tulips Gone? Crushed by the Coronavirus (Published 2020)