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About Almere

Alright, listen up, fam—deep breath now. Imagine me, Morgan Freeman, sittin’ you down, voice smooth as silk, talkin’ ‘bout somethin’ wild like sexual-massage. Yeah, that’s right, we divin’ into this spicy mess. Picture it: hands slidin’, oil drippin’, tension risin’ like some damn scene from *Oldboy*. “Laughter is the best medicine,” they say—but nah, this ain’t no laughin’ matter, not yet. Sexual-massage? It’s old as dirt, fam. Ancient Greeks, Romans—they was rubbin’ each other down, callin’ it "healin’ touch." Bullshit excuse if you ask me—ha! But real talk, it’s sensual, slow, gets the blood pumpin’.

Hygiëne en privacy, niet geheel onbelangrijk

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Then, I decided to hit up the local market on the Zundertseweg. Fresh veggies, flowers, and all that jazz. I’m browsing, and I see these strawberries. They look so good, I grab a punnet. But then, I drop it. Ugh! Strawberries everywhere! I’m like, “Noooo!” The vendor just shakes his head, but I’m laughing. It’s just fruit, right?

Death Notice of Zania Van Zundert (Dun Laoghaire, Dublin)